My insecurity. Pile on top an unrealistic amount of stress, half of which isn't even my own stress (maybe I should qualify that, i've been taking on other peoples stress), and a lack of caffeine in my diet you end up with a bloated mass of hysterical me.

I need some therapy or something.

Tomorrow.

One of my babies is turning 3 (officially. Though to her, she's 3 when she has a party.)

On the way home from the grocery store, twenty minutes ago, she opened the car door nearest her, and I nearly had a heart attack. Fortunately a multi-colored bouncy ball was the only real casualty of the incident, but let's just say I started drinking as soon as we made it home. If nerves could be shot, mine would be.

I don't know why I'm writing about this, probably because it makes me feel less terrible for having forgotten to lock the car doors. Like if I admit it, it's not as bad. weird. I think I do that a lot. Not here, but in real life I mean. 

Oh yeah, Kara was totally born on Drew and Anicia's wedding day. I was pissed that we were missing their wedding! haha! i'm crazy when i have babies.

I think I'm going to do this:

http://www.slonightwriters.org/

I found out about it yesterday, and apparently Wyatt really wants me to do it too because he won't stop talking about it. Ha! he loves me so much. Soooooo, yeah. maybe i'll come up with something good!

Thanks Bethany

if i weren't internet retarded i would post the picture too, be that as it may- I will probably buy this.

http://shelf-life.ew.com/2009/07/15/twilight-comic-book-manga/

ugh. so i have all this stress in my shoulders, but i'm not sure why. what have i been stressing about? Nothing really. the heat, maybe? I hate the heat. I can handle 80ish. you go hotter than that and i fall apart. 

doing Alice In Wonderland for Kara's birthday. It's going to be magical. i'm so excited!!!! I will post pictures and stuff. I'm working on the invites now, and they will (hopefully) be picture worthy. I've never really done a big party for my kids (pointless, since they're too young to remember, and too young to have friends beyond their immediate family), but with Kara, she asked to have an Alice tea party. Really, when is the next time one of my kids is going to pick something crazy like that? probably never. i've resigned myself to the fact that the next 8-10 birthday years are going to be princess themed. and after that they'll just want me to hand out money and drive their friends to laser tag (not that I'll be complaining when that time does come). oh to be a preteen....... worst years of my life.

I am so crabby today. Yesterday I got a ton of stuff done, and was exhausted. I went to bed at 9! This morning has barely started and I already want to slap someone. 

I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed. Tomorrow we're taking the girls to the aquarium for paisleys birthday. always fun. today I have to get one of my tires patched, go to the grocery store, deal with the idiots at my bank, maybe start swim lessons, and pack up supplies for tomorrow. Oh, also, finish the laundry, and clean the bedrooms.

here's what I'd rather do: Find a way for my children to get along, never hear them scream at each other again. Make a tasty, healthy lunch for the four of us. walk to the park. sit on the computer and finish my work. take a nap. 

enough complaining. 

I cut adelaide's hair last night, and it looks cute. I had to take off several inches because it was SO bad, but it's super cute and really curly right now. she wants to grow it out like rapunzel. So cute!

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone (for me this usually happens when it's someone I don't know, but am being forced to interact with due to the social requirements of a job etc.), they say something so ridiculously stupid/offensive/self-centered that you get this overwhelming urge to slap them across the face? And not just a nice slap. Like a bitch slap. One that leaves a mark on their cheek and makes the back of your hand hurt for the rest of the day.

This has been happening a lot to me lately.

So I wonder: Have I simply encountered a hidden pocket of idiots living in my everyday environment? Or do I have a, heretofore, hidden anger issue?

periods

so I'm dragging myself and my children to the beach today. It was my mother-in-laws idea so I suppose I won't be alone, but nothing is worse than sand when you're pmsing. ugh. the thought just makes me cringe.

killing time

sooo.. after two weeks of not writing, i'm finally in the mood to begin again.

I think my brain just needed some down time or something, it reminds me of how you go to the gym and you're supposed to do the weights only every other day, otherwise instead of building up muscle you're just breaking it all down.

I wonder if our brains work in the same way. If it needs a break inbetween uses in order to soak in the information, or even make room for new information. At least, that's what it feels like sometimes. And if this is so, why do we send our children to school 5 days a week with 3 hours of homework a day?

madness I say

hannah

Hannah Daman is visiting from tbe Boston area this week and I've been showing her the sights (we have sights?) and sounds of central california. These include:

-the park with my children
-the carlton on open mike night
-the frog and peach on pint night
-farmers and bubblegum alley (that was more of a mistake really, we just kind of wandered into both on accident)
-and today is montana de oro.

see what your missing, bethany?

but it's been fun. I like people who don't need entertainment, they're easier to talk with. She and I walked all over san luis yesterday talking about... mostly ideas on God and crazy concepts along those lines. i enjoyed myself immensly


also, i had this crazy dream last night where wyatt and i moved to illinois because we're so co-dependent we couldn't function without jon and bethany? but as soon as we moved there, they moved to seattle. i was amused. clearly i'm having seperation issues

well I had fun. and relaxed. and was spoiled rotten.
even so, I'm glad to be home.
Highlights of illinois were:
-the blind pig, sitting and talking over life
-finding the coolest gift ever for adelaide
-checking out the vintage stores
-my first experience with korean food
-getting drunk and watching the twilight commentary
-shopping for 4 hours straight
-dressing up and going out
-"bowling"
-starbucks saturday afternoon
-waking up for the airport trip with a hangover at 2 am

glorious.

All I have to say for my first post is this: I am being eaten alive by spiders. fucking bugs.